Today has been a really good day. I keep on pushing myself to avoid getting stuck in my own head. It requires a lot of extraneous crap to occupy my mind because the minute I let my mind empty out the self doubt and depression creep on in. I truly feel that I understand the concept of being your own worst enemy, but I don't want to let it get the best of me.
We got up this morning and cut out some time while Adrian slept for Gavin and I to do some finger painting. I cut up an extra sponge to help paint but fingerpainting was much better. I helped Gavin paint out his name on some paper and I could tell he was really proud of it. It made me happy to be able to spend time with him like that, the way we used to before life got even more hectic. Gavin is such an interesting person already and I love his silly sense of humor. I don't want having a new baby around make us lose touch with one another and I don't want to forget what an amazing little dude he really is.
I've felt pretty productive lately. There's got to be an ending to frustrations and upset attitudes, and sitting around dwelling on it doesn't bring the end to those things. Sometimes you need to force yourself to laugh in order to bring about a genuine one.
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